Silence

I finally get to have a taste of it. As of this moment, right now, 4 children are at school, and the 5th is taking a much needed nap. I'm enjoying the quiet...except for the fly that keeps buzzing in my ear. (Note to self: Must find the flyswatter) I have a list of things to do a mile long, and all I want to do is sit and reflect on the things that have been going on in my family's lives. Isn't it funny how, however needed time away from the kids is, the second you get a moment, all you can think about is them? I secretly kinda love that part of being their mom because it helps me to remember how much I truly rely on them, and they on me.

Haddon. That boy. Oh how I love him. Don't tell him I shared this, but this morning, when the house was still quiet, he crept into our room and sat at the end of our bed. I could tell all he wanted to do was climb under the covers with us and be little again. So I let him. :) It was the most delicious way to start the day, knowing that my (big) child still needs and wants that comfort. This boy amazes me. He is at that awkward boy stage where he's trying to define 'cool', but all the big feet and pointy elbows get in the way. He is smart, and wants to soak in all the adult conversation he can, just to educate himself on the world around him. Just yesterday Joel and I were discussing a 9/11 documentary I had watched, and he started asking questions I never would have thought to ask, like, 'Why did the towers fall if the plane only hit the top part of them.' and 'Is it bad to hate the people who did this to our country?' *** Seriously, he's 9. And he is so thoughtful. He was very concerned about Ellie last week, and I found him with his arm around her shoulder comforting her in a way that I only could have wished for from my brothers. He's just that person. *Love him*

Ellie. My heart hurts for her right now. So sweet, so shy, and hilarious when she feels comfortable around you. She's struggling with the transition that is 3rd grade. Where you don't get treated like a little kid anymore, and friends that are fair-weather. She wants so badly to have a best friend she can play with in our neighborhood, but there just aren't any (her age). Which for some reason, is important. Daily Joel says 'let's move,' purely out of concern for her. It's hard to watch. As a parent you want so badly to puppet everything in their lives, but some things they have to learn on their own. *sob* To top it all off, she's been having mysterious stomach pains. They come and go, sometimes vague, other times evident. I'm not sure whether it's stress or an actual issue i should be worried about. *sigh* I pray daily that my spunky sweet girl will work it out and find true happiness...and that I can just make it easier for her.  <3

Sydney. My spark-plug. Grandpa Gail gave her that name, and it fits to a T. She is so excited about everything around her, 'firing' all the time. Her little body can't contain her excitement, so she ends up bouncing around in her family members' faces, which doesn't always end well. :) She adores Kindergarten. She has the same teacher H and E had. She's phenomenal. But just barely 5 Syd is struggling with the separation from me in the mornings. Daily those giant blue eyes look at me with tears in them as I shove her out into the world. (Not really, but man, it feels like it most days!) This morning I had carpool to Haddon's school, so I needed to drop Ellie and Syd off at the crosswalk in order to make it to the other school on time. Syd of course, started crying, and Ellie took her hand and comforted her as they walked. My heart strings felt really thin at that moment. So big and so little all at once. The good news is that she comes home 'firing' again, completely forgetting her sadness from the mornings.  I'm optimistic that this will only get better as the days go on.  :)

Paige. My rough and tumble baby girl. She is such a tomboy, but has a soft spot for mom and dad. I swear she is the spitting image of me at that age. Which makes me love her that much more. I was the only girl, a tomboy by default. :) It is just part of her nature though. Last night we had some friends over to BBQ one last time. They have 3 boys. I looked out in the yard, and Paige was tackling Sydney, football style, to try to impress her little friend that's a boy. *sigh* But then, this morning, after my time with Haddon, I crept into her room to climb into her bed. She put her pudgy little hand on my cheek, and I put mine on her cool, taut, chubby cheek. We just looked into each other's eyes and felt loved. She's not so rough and tumble after all. She is absolutely loving feeling like a big girl - she goes to preschool now. :) 7 of us mamas in the neighborhood started a co-op style school where we take 2 days a week of teaching, and get 6 weeks off in between. It's free for everyone, and the kids are in heaven. And Paige gets the best of both worlds - cars and dollies. :)

Amelia. My baby-baby. She is crawling. She is cruising furniture. She says hi if the moment is right. She's 7 months old now. It's going too fast. She needs to stay little so I can enjoy my last baby just a little bit longer. I am in love with her, and she with me...and her daddy. :) This last couple of weeks, she has developed a cry that just makes me giggle. I can't help it. It frustrates her that I'm laughing when she's upset, but it's just too cute not to. She trills and rolls an 'r' in her cry. Cutest. Thing. Ever. Poor baby can't get any respect. :)

Joel.  My love. My life.  His new work in Provo is going well. (Hallelujah!) He gets to commute with a good friend in our neighborhood, and is home most nights by 6pm. Which is when the bishopric calls start, and the work on the house starts, and time with kids, and time with the dogs...(yes, that is one of my 4-letter words.  But we won't go into it just now).  We find ourselves staying up late most nights just so that we can have a little snippet of time together, just us.  I know that this time in our lives is fleeting, and that we'll have probably too much time alone together when the kids are grown, but I miss him.  I savor Sunday afternoons after all of the obligations are met, so that we can just enjoy time together since no work on the house is allowed.  Yesterday he had the day off, and we spent the whole day together.  It was fabulous!  He set poles in concrete to build a kennel for the dogs (YAY!!!) and we went to a farm in Santaquin to buy peaches.  We enjoyed homemade ice-cream from their gift shop.  The kids got GIANT cones, and thoroughly enjoyed every bite.  On the way, I was admiring the roadside sunflowers.  He pulled the car over and helped me pick a huge handful of them.  If you know Joel, doing something like that is way too embarrassing.  But he did it for me.  When we got home, he took the kids individually on long bike rides.  Then he grilled yummy chicken for dinner.  I sure love that man. :)