Highway to Heaven

Today started late and grumpy for me. The hubs and I stayed up way too late rounding out our Christmas shopping list for the kids.  I wish I could say I was the best version of myself after sleep, but alas, not so. Everyone was frazzled and late for school as I dropped them off in the carpool lane.  Amazingly, the girls seemed cautiously positive as they hopped out of the van.  As the door closed and I called out "I love you!!!" just barely too late, I had the thought "Can I have a do-over??? That was a train wreck."

As I drove home, I realized that the fog that had been plaguing our valley for over a week had finally cleared. The sun was brilliantly shining, making the ice and snow blanketing everything shimmer like crystal.  I took a deep breath, and decided to just start new from that moment on.  All of the kiddos are growing up way too quickly for me.  I still get to have the littles with me every day - Amelia is almost 3 and so smart.  Claire is 14 months now, walking, jabbering, and has the most adorable personality emerging from her loss of babyhood. *sob*  So I started with them.  I had a list a mile long of things to do today since I'm the ultimate procrastinator and Christmas is in 5 days.  Instead, I got on the floor and played with them.  For over an hour I reveled in the amazing little laughs and personalities that they have.  When Claire needed a nap, I bathed Amelia, letting her play as long as she wanted, which of course led to water all over the bathroom floor.  I didn't get upset, which I realized happens all too often these days.  When she climbed out and wrapped her tiny arms around my neck, getting me all wet, and then let me swaddle her in the towel and rock her in my arms, I marveled at my love for her, not even noticing the cold spot on my shirt.  I had that familiar feeling that this might be one of the last times I get to do this with her.  The rest of the morning went similarly.

I wish I could say that the warm fuzzies stayed permanently, but the stresses of daily life unfortunately get the best of me sometimes.  I wrote this down in hopes that it will remind me more often how amazing these babes Heavenly Father has entrusted to me are.  They grow up too fast, and if I don't slow down and enjoy them, I'm gonna miss a lot of amazing moments. There may be cloudy, yucky moments, but inevitably the sun breaks through the clouds and shows us that heaven is here right now!