So, remember my post about glass shards and cookies where I talked about lessons being learned? Well, apparently I still have a thing or two to learn about being overly confident. I thought that having this baby would be a piece of cake. Going from 3 to 4 was pretty easy, so why shouldn't 5 be the same? But the cold hard truth has hit me.
IT'S NOT EASY!
Don't get me wrong, I have been savoring every single moment with her. Joel didn't even bat an eye when I cried last week over her losing her umbilical cord stump. Yep, I'm a heap of hormones and emotions mixed with exhaustion. Dangerous combo, let me tell you! Last night I crumpled into a heap of tears the moment Joel came home from his bishopric meetings at 9. I handed a screaming baby over to him and stood there helplessly looking on as he calmed her down. Earlier in the day, I had to put myself in time out for raising my voice at Paige. It was only fair, since it's not her fault that I'm crazy enough to try to potty train a 3 year old one week after her baby sister is born. (I know..!!!) My unrealistic visions of throwing grandiose birthday parties (more on that later) and springing right back into my pre-pregnancy body have been thrown out the window. Just this morning, in working with Paige on potty training, I said something to the extent of "You're not a baby anymore". To that, she stopped dead in her tracks, and said "but I'M YOUR BABY." I could have cried, but instead hugged her and reassured her that she WILL always be my baby. Apparently, I haven't done a very good job at making sure that the kiddos know that.
Lest this starts to sound like one big complaining post, I wanted to share this video with you...
President Eyring said "Whether the family will be together (forever) depends on the choices each family member makes"
I realized that my choice to either succumb to my emotions and fatigue, or to take things one step at a time, always keeping the big picture in mind, will completely affect how this new phase of life goes. It really doesn't matter if my house is spotless, or if I got makeup on today. But it does matter that my kids know they are what it's all about. So, for now, I completely resign myself to the house being in disarray and looking like I just had a baby, spit-up and all! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go push some clean laundry off the couch so I can cuddle with Syd while the other girls nap. :)
**That's Ellie's little friend Halle singing in the video. Isn't she so cute???**
quiet time.
10 years ago
I loved that video, thank you for sharing! I totally understand how we have days like that, hang in there, before we know it we won't have toys everywhere and hands and faces to wash, and we wish we did.
ReplyDeleteAng~ You are doing great! Hang in there! My friend had a surprise #5 and it did the same thing to her! Love them. Try to get a shower in. Take help. And the rest is just the rest. :)
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