Angie Vs. THE Vaccuum

Soooooo....I can't believe I'm sharing this embarrassing little fiasco with the world...however, it's just too hilarious (in hindsight) not to do so.  Let's set up the scenario.

Monday is cleaning day.  We play all weekend, and clean up on Monday.  So, I was finishing up the basement this morning, and had pulled out the vaccuum to clean the carpet.  Now, let me explain the condition of my vacuum.  For months it has been limping along.  Among other problems, both wheels have broken off, but can be shoved back on if they do fall off.  I've been cursing it's existence, but grateful for it all at the same time, since it does still clean the rugs.  Are you with me so far?  :)

I had made exactly 3 swipes, when one of the tires rolled off and under the couch.  Being large with child, I tried to bend down and retrieve the wheel, only to have a tiny unborn baby block access to said wheel.  So, I dropped to my knees to retrieve it.  That's when the battle began...

I heard a loud whooshing/suction noise, and all of a sudden, my long golden tresses were being sucked into the spinning brush under the vaccuum.  AAAAGGGHHH!  I frantically tried to turn off the vacuum which only made my hair more accessible to the brush.  I quickly did get it turned off, because it was beginning to rip out hair.   I tried in vain to get untangled without anyone knowing what had happened...but it was wound so tightly that I couldn't get it out.  Crying and laughing at the same time, I yelled for help from Joel, who was upstairs.  I guess he could hear the desperation in my voice, because he came tearing down the stairs like an elephant stampede...only to stop cold in his tracks to survey the situation.  At this point, I'm face down with my hair stuck, and can't see his reaction.  Terror, fear, anxiety for his poor wife?  Of course not...I hear the faint click of his camera phone, and he is trying his hardest not to laugh at his ridiculous wife.  Of course, he proceeded to help me flip over with the vaccuum so that he could untangle my hair.  (It really did hurt!)  And then, of course, there needed to be REAL pictures taken with the REAL camera...

 

           Yep.  I'm talented, aren't I???? 

At this point, I realized how silly the whole thing was and was finally able to wipe away tears and laugh at myself.  For the next 10 minutes or so, Joel worked frantically to unscrew the base, only to find out that there was no way to get it out without cutting my hair or breaking the vaccuum.  Being the ever practical one that I am, I opted to break the vacuum.  We would need a new one soon anyway...right?  

    There's my sweet knight in shining armour...trying his hardest not to laugh.  You know that saying "You should see the other guy?"  Well... that's what the vacuum would have been saying if it had survived the battle...Do you see all that hair wrapped around the brush? Yeah, I have a bald spot to match that at the crown of my head.  

Go ahead, laugh your head off...I'm finally able to...several hours later. 
I guess we're in the market for a new vaccuum. Edited to add: Scratch that...some amazingly thoughtful anonymous donor left a new vacuum on our doorstep last night. **** THANK YOU!!!